This letter was written on May 10, 2004 to my father for our healing and I also talked about this is in my You tube site which is under “Tezamysticangel” which has now attracted 81,400 viewers since I’ve opened it on 2008.
Happy 85’th birthday! I’m writing this letter because I want to put a closure to my healing wounds. In doing so I will be able to let go of all the feelings that I wasn’t able to tell you because of so many reasons. I will help the little girl in me to have a voice and finally be heard. To continue to grow in trust and safety in God’s hands.
Papa, I wanted you to know that I’ve forgiven you for all the things that you’ve done to me in the past. Bur deep inside of me there are so many unspoken pains and unhealed memories of the past that needed to be in the light. In order to dispel the power of darkness. What I mean to say is that I needed to tell you so that it will not come back to haunt me anymore. Like a ghost restless and haunting. I still remembered growing up, you used to call me in your room and seduced me with fruits to go inside and you would tell me that it’s our secret. Then, you would ask me to remove my uniform shirt because it was too hot and I would do that and ate my fruits and watched tv. I can vividly remember how you watched and lusted for me. I didn’t knkow better because you were my father. I thought love is seduction and lust. I would feel important, special and wanted because this is the way you shared love to me. Why did you do this? Are you sick?
For whatever reasons the damage was done and I was broken. I didn’t know that this is the way a father should treat his daughter. The most hurful part of this is when you sucked my breast after the abortion. Do you know how deep is the wound that you have stubbed me in my heart? It felt like a sword had cut right through my heart. I lost my true identiy as a woman. I don’t know how to trust, love and respect my body. I don’t know the concept of boundary because of your trespasses. I don’t know my self worth, it felt like a garbage dirty and not wanted. These are all the ugly feelings that resulted from what you had sowed in my little girl’s heart. I’m not going through counseling and it was revealed to me that I needed to write a letter to heal my deepest wounds.
Papa, I’ve truly forgiven you. This letter will surely hurt but the intention is to share with you my deepest sorrows, in order for me to heal completely. This is from the past and I know God wants me to bury this behind. Out of this experience I became closer to God, telling Him all my heartaches. I would like to end this with a prayer for both of us.
We thank you for bringing us together in spirit, being able to voice out my feelings and opening my wounds to my father. To bring a closure to the past. We ask you for forgiveness, compassion and mercy. Thank you for renewing our minds, body and souls. Transform us into your image and use us as instruments of your healing power. That with our story we could touch other souls who are going through the same darkness. Thank you for bringing your light into our hearts. The light that heals and comforts our broken hearts. Thank you for being a Father to all of us, and I ask you to bless my father and fill his heart with complete joy, love and peace. We ask you this through Christ our Lord Amen.
Praying for healing and true forgiveness,