Life is a mystery. Why do we attract certain people and create relationships with them? What is it within you that magnetized this union? There are many questions in our mind when we are meeting new people and anticipating what this relationship brings about.
I like to analyze and see patterns of my creations. That is probably why I love creating new templates. But before I can create something, I needed to dig deeper into what has manifested. First, I realized that there is a magnet and this is the attraction that brought us together. There are a lot of things that can bring people together. It can be healing of wounded souls, emptiness and void that we tried to fill in the gap, unresolved issues with our parents and our souls wanted to feel that we belong, we are safe and that we can trust.
Unbeknownst to me that I am still experiencing uneasiness with my sexuality. I feel that there is a deep wound that needed to feel safe, that I belong and I can trust the other person before I can fully feel comfortable with my partner. Deep within me is a pit of vulnerability. Question arose, “am I good enough?” There is a deep feeling of insecurity, I found out that the roots of this is fear of intimacy. It feels like it is my defense mechanism in order to protect myself but at the same time it becomes my wall not to let anyone closer to me.
As I opened my heart and consciously become aware of this, I ask myself, what is it that I feel and unable to express? This is the bonding that my soul longs yet it is also the most fearful aspect of my being that I am unable to face. There is the saboteur archetype that plays in my head. It is finding a way out or avoidance to go deeper. Finding excuses to move forward and take a deeper look at what I have. It is a subtle message that you can sometimes believe that it is true. It is a false representation of your true essence.
Our truth is our soul that resonates with love and light. If this is our truth, why do we feel separated from others? Because the ego wants to preserve its false identity. If the ego wins then love cannot be felt within the heart. The mind takes over and invent of many assumptions and stories that does not even exist. So being conscious of fear based thoughts and the difference of the vibrations that it brings will help eliminate clutter in the mind or ego. This fear based thoughts will bring separation and lower vibrations of our emotional fields.
On the other hand the love based thoughts will bring about high frequencies of joy, peace, unity and love. I ask myself, what do I want to bring in this relationship? Do I want to flow openly or be constrained? Do I let fear reign in my life, or do I love openly and go with the flow? Let the story unfolds with beauty and love.
Like the lovely lotus flower, I choose to bloom in the muddy and murky water. To choose is to live in love, believing that life serves you with what you feel you deserve. The universe will take care of my vulnerable self. I will grow with effervescent light. I will lift my spirit high to the One that gives us this door of chances once again to taste what love is.