You are a soul of infinite love. You came here to shine your light.

We are beyond this Addiction

buddha
The pain of addiction is a cycle that goes around and around within our family dynamics and those people that have relationships with us. That is a huge rippling effect of the pain that addiction brings in our lives. It becomes a soul’s virus infecting all of us because when we experienced growing up with addictive parents, we also become one. The pain that was caused is very deep and dark. The wounds that we cause can be permanently edged in our consciousness and we like to hold to this victim story and give this unconsciously to those that we loved.
As a mother of four children, I had a lot of pain from my childhood experiences and I was in denial of dealing with this deep cut in my wounds. I became a soul healer but in this path, I found that the only way I can help is to help myself and my children’s wounds first. I’ve observed their growth and progress and was so happy and proud of their accomplishments but there was something missing. I can feel their gnawing pain within and I was touched when I had an inventory of my current relationships. From the past my father was alcoholic, I was married for 16 years to an addictive person, my son became an addict and still surrounded by loved ones who are addicted in other many ways such as shopping and proving that we can be better but doesn’t realize that we became workaholics ourselves.I asked myself, am I an addict? I always say others are your mirrors, I then recognized my own addiction? I found out I am an addict to rescue and help others but truly did not find inner solace with my deep wounds because I continue to rescue. So what am I to do with this on my plate. I choose to explore and write these words that are deep and painful. I am authentic and grounded to shine a light to my children’s journeys and mine. This book is different from my other writings as I type the words it resonated to that voice of liberation and exorcise my own inner demons and pain.
What is my intention in writing this book? It is to be true to my own healing and how I can share this with others who are suffering in addiction and taking care of others who are addicts. What is my story? I grew up in a big family and I am the youngest of 10. My father was an alcoholic drinking every night. I watched violence and anger from my mother who tries to stop him from drinking. I was scared and hurt seeing her hit my father violently. I became closed to my father feeling pity for him. To make the story short, I had a secret with him. He lured me with fruits in his room every day after school and he asked me to take my shirt off, he was sick and had sexual innuendos with me. When I reached the age of 15 he sexually molested me, even though there was no penetration it was the same pain of losing my father’s trust and love. I became angry, as I went to my mom to asked for help she told instead that the sexual abuse was a nightmare. This was the path of my dark nights of the soul.
Deep within me, there was a longing to heal these wounds. I studied many modalities and chose to focus on Akashic Records which holds the memory and consciousness of my soul’s vibrations. As I journey with my soul’s records, I realized that addiction is a huge part of my relationships. I love looking at broken souls and putting them back together to feel the wholesomeness of our existence. I believe we are here to see differently how our wounds can heal and we are the healers within. We can empower ourselves and others by truly being authentic and aligning ourselves with the Higher power. But the first thing to do is to acknowledge that we have a problem. Then we can face the situation without denial. Denial is the best escape of addicts, we are so good at this so we can step away from seeing what we have created and take responsibilities for them. It is not easy to handle guilt and shame that was instilled in us at the get go.
In healing and facing this hungry ghost as Dr. Gabor Mate had put it in his amazing teachings about addiction. This is relentless, there are so many factors to consider in this path of addiction, but I will explore this in a soul level where we can find inner peace and solace. To see the bigger picture of our soul’s perspective, we have to be vulnerable and ready to face this demon with courage. To truly know that there is a reason or purpose why we are on this path, how we can shift this in our cellular patterns of thinking and behaving.
We are empowered soul beings, experiencing the darkness or shadows of the Addict Archetype. This blueprint is communicating to us how we can have the power to transcend and align to our congruent soul. When we open our mind and hearts, we now have the voice to speak up, to send light to the darkest parts of our hidden lives and to feel safe and loved no matter what because we know that lies behind these masks are souls that have the stamina to face our own demons. We are the bringers of the light in our generations. We now have to stop, reflect on our own creations of pain and how it affected our family and friends.
How we can amend to them and ask for forgiveness. To forgive ourselves, to let go of the old patterns on how we see ourselves and to finally rest this old saying “ I am Teza, I am an addict.” We are not this declaration, we are souls that are here experiencing this archetypal energy to give power to ourselves and others. We are beyond this addiction! We are magnificent beings of light that are here to command to our spirit that there is hope, faith, and trust that we are being guided, protected and loved beyond our imagination. The universe is ours and we are the universe, create the best version of your own universe full of forgiveness, compassion, kindness, gentleness and love towards yourself and others. Be loved!
Fr the book Soul’s Virus of Addiction
Teza Zialcita

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